I know it’s been forever since my last post (almost 2 months, jeez). I have no excuse except that I’ve been utterly swamped. Vacations, birthdays– topped off with a ton of work and commitments has me in a first-ever, rapid whirlwind of nonstop “go-go-go.” Taking ten classes a semester was a breeze compared to my stress level these days. I am trying my best to remain calm (ha)– but it is incredibly hard to make time for myself. Enough about that– moving onward.
Change is in the air. I can open my windows without freezing. It doesn’t get dark at 5:00pm anymore. And I am–I am moving. It’s hard to write– let alone say. Sure, you may think I am being a tad dramatic (everyone moves) but I truly loathe moving. Bubble-wrapping and boxing and taping and lifting. It’s a long cycle. Each night I do a little- hoping to minimize being overwhelmed on that faithful day at the end of April; however, I have come to realize we (Ryan and I) have accumulated a lot of “stuff”– and 730 days worth of memories.
I remember when we moved into our apartment– and that nervous, butterflies-in-the-stomach feeling I had. Ryan and I had been together a little over two years, and even though I felt confident in taking that next step, I still was a tad nervous. We’ve all heard the horror stories of couples moving in together and things essentially not working out for one reason or another. I remember people telling me how things are “different” and change (gosh I hate that word) when you live with your boyfriend. I was cautioned that I’d lose a certain relationship spontaneity and things could become too comfortable. I was a little hesitant. I didn’t want to ruin “us.”
But Ryan was more than sure– 110% sure that we’d be fine.
So I followed Ryan, my intuition, and heart. And have never once regretted my decision.
I remember the excitement of our first place– setting it up just so. Ryan sitting on the floor– with his tools neatly lined up– carefully putting together shelves. I peaked into our closet only to notice he had color coordinated the entire closet which did not last long, but needless to say– a man after my own heart. And we picked out a couch (our first big purchase together) and silverware (it’s the little things). We hung two paintings on the wall we got on a beach in the Dominican Republic. And on a shelf I lined up Ryan’s wooden, hand-carved animals from his African safari (so jealous). I remember Christmas in this apartment– how Ryan surprised me with matching monogrammed red stockings (hehe). Sunday morning pancakes. And Sunday night dinners with our parents crowded around.
In this apartment I learned Ryan cringes at the sound of styrofoam and that he only snores when he’s simply exhausted. He hates when I don’t put the caps back on my contact lens case and this is where he developed a “system” for loading the dishwasher more efficiently (it was a proud moment). I learned how much he truly adores sports– I’m talking fantasy sports, college, professional, basketball, baseball, football, golf, horseshoes (is that even a sport), ping pong, UFC fighting…so much so that he has a list of 100 sports related things he wants to do in his lifetime. Last year he went to Kentucky Derby, #63 on the list. I have grown to love his inner-jock and I admire his competitiveness.
Christina– my little sister– lives next door to me. And as the month is dwindling down– I am coming to realize how lucky I was to have her “right there.” She was a 24/7 built in best friend. We’ve shared many laughs (and maybe a few sister fights, hehe) together in this apartment. And even though she won’t be too far away– I can’t help but be a little sad. I’m going to miss her.
This whole thing stinks– there I said it. Since I’ve been 18 years old I have had to deal with one change or another– and I adjusted. I accepted the changes. Now things are about to change again– my comfort zone is about to be interrupted– and I find myself facing some all too familiar feelings: a little nervous, a little hesitant.
But Ryan says I have to trust him– to take this blind leap of faith with him– that moving will help us build our future together.
And I know he’s right.
I know– together– things will be okay.
1 Comment
April 21, 2009 at 11:15 pm
good post